Vaibhav Suryavanshi is the toast of the cricketing world at the moment. His 100 off 35 balls is the talk everywhere. But that’s what raises a number of key questions, mostly for parents.
Not every son or every daughter will be a Vaibhav Suryavanshi at the age of 14. The truth is not everyone needs to be. He has special talent and is an aberration. But that doesn’t make any other aspiring cricketer at 14 any less talented or capable. No parent needs to push their child, 14 or 15, to be a Vaibhav.
In India, we know it will happen. May be, it has already started. If Vaibhav can at 14, why can’t you at 16 is the next refrain for many children whose parents want them to be cricketers. And that’s where mental health comes in. If the child isn’t able to do it at 14, and is pushed to the brink by the obsessive parent, what can possibly happen? What’s the problem if your child is not the next Vaibhav?
For many of my generation Sachin Tendulkar was the yardstick. Everyone wanted their child to be the next Sachin. Face Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis at the age of 15 and emerge victorious. The truth is it isn’t happening. Perhaps will happen for one in a million kids. But that doesn’t make the 99.99 per cent any less. If someone comes into his own at the age of 18 or 19, that’s absolutely fine. It is okay to not be a Vaibhav at 14. Also, if you are 16 and aren’t a Vaibhav that too is okay. For one successful Vaibhav, there can’t be thousands of unsuccessful teenagers who develop mental health problems.
I am disgusted seeing these what were you doing at 14 kind of questions on social media. Not everyone needs to play cricket and dazzle the world at 14 and that’s what needs to be drilled in. Yes, we will all applaud and celebrate Vaibhav. We will sit and watch him in awe, for he is doing something extraordinary. But we will not for once take him as the norm. He isn’t the norm. Rather, he is an exception and should be looked upon as such.
Many kids who are not even 10 will next be told you need to start training harder, for you can become the next Vaibhav. This is what societal pressure can do. The riches of the IPL can be heady and for parents it is a lure. The truth is you can lose your child if you do so. The pressure can be unbearable for many and it is absolutely essential we are all mindful of it.
At 10 or 11 or 12, let the child do whatever he or she likes. If Vaibhav was able to adapt to the big league at 14, it is because he had something special in him. To make your child the next Vaibhav can’t be a quest. For chances are the quest will go badly wrong, leaving the child or the teenager scarred forever.
Celebrate Vaibhav. Don’t push your children to emulate him.