On Father’s Day, it is pertinent to look at Sachin and Arjun Tendulkar, and understand what it takes to be a father and son in the same sport. It was the same with Sunil and Rohan Gavaskar as well.
While writing Playing it May Way, Sachin had spoken a lot to me about Sara and Arjun, and the difficulties of being a Tendulkar.
Sample this: “There is a common misconception that our children have it really smooth all the time. Rather, it has never been easy on them. They are not able to do the things which normal kids indulge in and often times, it is really hard on them. Here are two instances, which adequately explain my point. The first occurred soon after we lost two games in the qualifying round and were knocked out of the 2007 World Cup.
“We had played poorly in the tournament and it was a low for the entire country. My family too felt the pain of defeat and we were aware that the repercussions of the first-round exit could well reach the kids. As a precautionary measure, Anjali tried to explain to Arjun, who was then only 7 years old, that if there was any provocation at school and if someone made a snide comment about his dad, he should just ignore it. All he was to say was that it was disappointing, and we would surely do better the next time. Although we knew that it was too much to expect that from a 7 year old.
“Arjun did the exact opposite of what he was told, and I was informed of his doings at school over dinner a couple of days later. We were having a quiet family dinner when Sara suddenly suggested that I should ask Arjun what he had done at school a few days earlier. I wasn’t aware of what had happened and asked him to tell me the incident. Caught on the wrong foot, Arjun turned defensive and said he hadn’t done anything wrong. That was all he said and kept silent.
“Finally, Anjali shared the incident with me, which went thus: a friend of his had accosted Arjun at school and said that India had lost because his dad had got out for zero. He went on to say that I was responsible for India’s defeat and had let the country down. Arjun would have no such thing against his father and pinned his friend down on the ground and sat on his chest in anger. He then asked the boy to repeat what he was saying if he still had the courage to do so! Arjun was a strong boy, and I could well imagine the boy’s plight who was down on the floor.
“The fact is such comments aren’t always restricted to kids. Adults too say unpleasant things on occasions to the kids and these are not always the easiest things to deal with. They are kids and are in no way responsible for their father’s actions. In our passion for the game, we often get carried away and make these mistakes, which do not always leave a very pleasant aftertaste.
The second incident relates to our media. It took place in Mumbai soon after Arjun had turned 12 and had just about started playing competitive cricket. And since then, it has become routine. He hadn’t done anything to deserve regular media coverage then. Yet, there were four or more OB vans outside every match that he played. Unfortunately, the boy has little choice and has to bear a high level of intrusion into his young life. I regret what was being done to him. He once told me that when he was going out to bat someone had almost forced a microphone in front of his face and asked him to comment on something completely unrelated to his game. I really don’t know why this was done and can only say that it was utterly wrong and unfortunate.”
More recently, the moment Arjun Tendulkar was included in the first XI by the Mumbai Indians (MI), social media went into overdrive. Arjun was trolled as is the norm these days and some people went on to accuse him of benefiting from nepotism. Frankly, Arjun wasn’t involved in the decision-making. Yes, he is a Tendulkar, but that is not something he can do anything about. He is a normal hard-working cricketer like many others who played domestic cricket and made the IPL cut.
If a franchise picked him, it is his good fortune. But no way was he involved in the decision-making. By saying that he was, we are actually demeaning the likes of Zaheer Khan and Rohit Sharma, who make the cricketing decisions at MI. And if MI picked him for brand-building, I think it was a very prudent call, for the IPL is a business and every brand is entitled to leverage opportunities that come their way. To have Sachin and Arjun in a hoarding is fantastic outreach, which would only help the brand.
Arjun, needless to say, will forever have to carry the burden of his surname. He will always be compared with his legendary father and be accused of nepotism. Such is the viciousness and negativity around that he will not even be allowed the freedom to do what he wants. He should be left alone to succeed or fail. Like each one of us, Arjun is allowed to fail and not be hounded and harassed for doing something he loves. He shouldn’t have to pay a price because he was born to Sachin and Anjali, and grew up in the Tendulkar household.
It is a misconception that star kids have it easy. Many feel things come easy to them and that breeds a sense of hostility and frustration. Arjun, whatever he does on the cricket field, will never be allowed to enjoy his achievement. Frankly, he is damned either way. If he did not play cricket and tried doing something else, people would have said he is a good for nothing. Now that he has opted to play cricket, knowing that his surname will haunt him, he is trolled and abused.
It is important that all of us try and put ourselves in his shoes for a while. Imagine training for hours and hours, for days on end, to then be told that all that hard work means nothing, and that all he has is because Sachin Tendulkar is his father. Yes, he might not be the most talented cricketer around. He might only achieve modest success in his career. He might never play for India and create records like his father did. But why can’t he be a domestic cricketer who is left alone to do what he wants to do?
We have the example of Sir Donald Bradman’s son before us. Unable to carry the Bradman burden, John had changed his surname to Bradsen. And he grew up at a time when social media hadn’t taken over our lives. At a time when there is increased awareness on issues of mental health, we need to sit back and ask what trolls can do to Arjun Tendulkar’s mind. Can they create a sense of helplessness and depression? Will they breed negativity and frustration and push him to leave his passion and try something else?
As I have narrated above, Sachin was speaking from a deep sense of conviction. It can’t be easy for him to digest the fact that Arjun is regularly trolled and abused just for being his son. There are many uncapped players who have been picked up by franchises at their base price of 20 lakhs. But it is Arjun who has been singled out by the trolls. Each is competing for their few seconds in the spotlight by dragging Sachin into the mix and targeting Arjun in the process. Trying to demonstrate how morally upright they are.
Sachin isn’t alone. Pullela Gopichand was accused of nepotism when his daughter was selected for the 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia. And this despite Gopi recusing himself from the selection meeting the moment Gayatri’s name had come up for discussion.
Does a doctor’s son or daughter not become a doctor? Do academics not encourage their children to become teachers and professors? There are many musicians in India whose parents were in the same profession.
So why is it that star kids are singled out for this kind of treatment? Why is it that we feel entitled to abuse them and attack their dignity? Frankly, such trolls are cowards, for they hide behind a veil of anonymity and take barbs knowing their identity will never be disclosed. These very people queue up to pose for a photograph when Sachin is in front of them. And that’s why it is important to speak up on days like Father’s Day.